Our "Norman Rockwell" version of the holidays...

The night before Christmas, it was a beautiful sight. Not a creature was stirring...not even our bulldogs mouth. The snow was falling ever so gently and I stepped outside to try and catch a snowflake and hold it in my hand. I looked at my watch and realized it was time for bed...St. Nick would soon be here....the kids were already in bed. Up the stairs I skipped with my husband holding my hand. We woke up to gentle music playing and our little angels had made up breakfast in bed...oh my...they are only 8, 5 and 3. Down the stairs we went with lights all a glow....For St. Nick had been here and I didn't even know. We opened the presents one by one and the children laughed with glee....we then left to my parents where the rest of my family would sing and be merry. Our last stop would be at my Uncle's, where all the relatives would gather around and sing "oh holy night" It was too beautiful to even......

"CUT" (off screen)

Oh, I am sorry....I must have been daydreaming because I just read you a script from well "Mr. and Mrs. Rockwells" home. Silly me. I get confused a lot, you shall see. If my memory serves me well...I think it went something more like this...

The night before Christmas there was much chaos in the house. Our 3 year old thought putting yet another roll of toilet paper in the toilet would be so much fun. The joy of a toilet spilling over is so much fun to see. The bulldog was happy. I suppose it was because she was on pain meds so that her hip would feel better. Poor thing, she had no idea the decibel to which her snores could go. The children fought constantly, and were so jacked up on excitement that they ran around in circles for an hour at least. A lot of screaming happened while giving them a bath, because god forbid that one of them got the red towel when it was time to get out. For whatever reason, that set off a full blown brawl. We finally tazered, excuse me....we finally put the children to bed and two out of three never went to sleep until half past 1:00 AM.

I change into my bathing suit because frankly, it is hot as hell. The only thing pouring down gently was the sweat (no, girls call it glistening) down my head. We thought we were finished wrapping....but, oh no...the spots in which I hid the presents so that I can find them later....well, it took an hour to remember where my clever mind put them.

Finally at 2 AM and it raining outside... I tell my husband "yo..it is time for bed". With my hair sideways, and blood shot eyes....I fell flat on the bed and never moved again until 4 hours later.

To be continued........