I am working hard on blocking out what is going on with me. Everyday that I wake up..I thank God for how many blessings He has given me. I try and block out the pain, Terrible habit I picked up a long time ago. I have learned to come out of my body (metaphorically speaking of course) and it is as if I am watching someone else's life. I try to use to think of everything to keep from thinking of the pain.
Where we are right now is a Thyroid Immune Disease. However, what no one can help me with is...how is my hyperthyroid in normal ranges and I have not been thrown into hypothyroid (which happens after going into remission of Graves Disease which is what caused the hyperthyroid.) ? Basically my immune system is attacking the thyroid.
I go back to Cleveland Clinic next month and I will go to hematology/oncology and find out what is attacking the good cells. My immune system is terrible despite all of the vitamins. It has been confirmed that I have an absorption problem. I can't really absorb anything, and the other is all of the vitamins that I am deficient in which causes a whole host of nasty stuff.
The other is that my bladder and colon completely stopped about 8 months ago. That is the part that NO ONE can figure out. So, now...I mainly have to have a catheter in to go #1 (I am a Mom ok? those are the words use) or if it is not indwelling, then I have to do it myself. Because anything left in the bladder causes infections. That is exactly what has happened....I have not stopped having kidney infections or UTI's for months now. Which means tons and tons of antibiotics. Which I hate. Because now, I am resistant to most everything. I have had two MRSA (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mrsa/DS00735 ) infections at the injection site of where my IV was. The next day, my arms were swollen, lesions and on fire!!! Ran a real high fever. Was on multitudes of Antibiotics. Most recently, one of my UTI/Kidney infections turned out to be MRSA. That is really bad stuff. It can take you down in a flash!!
There are many parts of my body that are not functioning correctly. Cleveland Clinic is honing in on where some of them are. Right now, it is my bladder. Since I have something called Urinary Retention and somehow my body does not give out signals when it is time to go....So I hold an ungodly amount thus rendering me to the world of self catheters or indwelling catheters. Lets suffice it to say....IT HURTS!!!! What is happening is that my stomach grows to ginormous portions and pushes my diaphragm and whatever else up into my rib cage. Makes it very hard to breathe. The urinary retention pushes urine up into my kidneys, causing serious infections.
I was taken in an ambulance on Thursday because when I went to my doctors appt...I was shaking from the pain so bad. Not only that...when I got there, I was bleeding profusely. Mind you....most of my insides have been taken out. I still have your basic liver, heart, lungs and spleen :) I was supposed to be admitted. But, I had to go through ER first. I HATE the ER with a passion. And as sick as I was....it boiled down to the fact that when I took a Urine Test at the ER....I only had 4 red blood cells, He said there was no reason for me to be in that kind of pain with that. HELLO? I just lost half of my body in blood...and there is no reason to keep me? He sent me home with another indwelling catheter and this time, I have to lie flat on my back all the time for about 5 days so that my bladder and kidneys could calm down. I cried so hard in the ER....because I felt like this is a hopeless situation.
Well, I took a shower this morning thinking that it won't be that bad. Wrong answer...tons of blood. And massive amounts of blood this afternoon. I have no idea what is going on there. Neither can the guys who went to college for becoming a doctor and they are supposed to know more than me. Cleveland Clinic had a lot of tests for me to take, and more down here. I am getting everything set up for Home Health to come in after I have a PICC line. She will show me how to clean the port and give myself the IV. I pray that the insurance will pay for that. That is one of many prayers.
Keeping my mind off of everything is my new job working from home (NuCerity), and writing. I will say that the best things for me to keep my mind off all of this is funny things....jokes, funny videos, funny or encouraging movies. Or talking about YOUR life...not mine...I cannot tell you the countless times people have said "Oh...my problems are nothing like yours", or " you have too much on your plate to talk about me", or "I figured since you hadn't been in touch with me that you didn't want to talk to me"
Let me say, I desperately want to hear how you are doing...and everyone's problems are equally hard no matter what your circumstances. There is no rule book/judging/scores on who has it worse. So, please don't stop talking about what is going on in your life. I genuinely want to hear. I may not always able to talk, or write right away...but, don't give up on me. I am trying...trying really hard to beat this battle and sometimes I make mistakes by not responding sooner. Thank you for all of your love and thoughts and prayers.
Sending blessings your way!
Caroline
Where we are right now is a Thyroid Immune Disease. However, what no one can help me with is...how is my hyperthyroid in normal ranges and I have not been thrown into hypothyroid (which happens after going into remission of Graves Disease which is what caused the hyperthyroid.) ? Basically my immune system is attacking the thyroid.
I go back to Cleveland Clinic next month and I will go to hematology/oncology and find out what is attacking the good cells. My immune system is terrible despite all of the vitamins. It has been confirmed that I have an absorption problem. I can't really absorb anything, and the other is all of the vitamins that I am deficient in which causes a whole host of nasty stuff.
The other is that my bladder and colon completely stopped about 8 months ago. That is the part that NO ONE can figure out. So, now...I mainly have to have a catheter in to go #1 (I am a Mom ok? those are the words use) or if it is not indwelling, then I have to do it myself. Because anything left in the bladder causes infections. That is exactly what has happened....I have not stopped having kidney infections or UTI's for months now. Which means tons and tons of antibiotics. Which I hate. Because now, I am resistant to most everything. I have had two MRSA (http://www.mayoclinic.com/
There are many parts of my body that are not functioning correctly. Cleveland Clinic is honing in on where some of them are. Right now, it is my bladder. Since I have something called Urinary Retention and somehow my body does not give out signals when it is time to go....So I hold an ungodly amount thus rendering me to the world of self catheters or indwelling catheters. Lets suffice it to say....IT HURTS!!!! What is happening is that my stomach grows to ginormous portions and pushes my diaphragm and whatever else up into my rib cage. Makes it very hard to breathe. The urinary retention pushes urine up into my kidneys, causing serious infections.
I was taken in an ambulance on Thursday because when I went to my doctors appt...I was shaking from the pain so bad. Not only that...when I got there, I was bleeding profusely. Mind you....most of my insides have been taken out. I still have your basic liver, heart, lungs and spleen :) I was supposed to be admitted. But, I had to go through ER first. I HATE the ER with a passion. And as sick as I was....it boiled down to the fact that when I took a Urine Test at the ER....I only had 4 red blood cells, He said there was no reason for me to be in that kind of pain with that. HELLO? I just lost half of my body in blood...and there is no reason to keep me? He sent me home with another indwelling catheter and this time, I have to lie flat on my back all the time for about 5 days so that my bladder and kidneys could calm down. I cried so hard in the ER....because I felt like this is a hopeless situation.
Well, I took a shower this morning thinking that it won't be that bad. Wrong answer...tons of blood. And massive amounts of blood this afternoon. I have no idea what is going on there. Neither can the guys who went to college for becoming a doctor and they are supposed to know more than me. Cleveland Clinic had a lot of tests for me to take, and more down here. I am getting everything set up for Home Health to come in after I have a PICC line. She will show me how to clean the port and give myself the IV. I pray that the insurance will pay for that. That is one of many prayers.
Keeping my mind off of everything is my new job working from home (NuCerity), and writing. I will say that the best things for me to keep my mind off all of this is funny things....jokes, funny videos, funny or encouraging movies. Or talking about YOUR life...not mine...I cannot tell you the countless times people have said "Oh...my problems are nothing like yours", or " you have too much on your plate to talk about me", or "I figured since you hadn't been in touch with me that you didn't want to talk to me"
Let me say, I desperately want to hear how you are doing...and everyone's problems are equally hard no matter what your circumstances. There is no rule book/judging/scores on who has it worse. So, please don't stop talking about what is going on in your life. I genuinely want to hear. I may not always able to talk, or write right away...but, don't give up on me. I am trying...trying really hard to beat this battle and sometimes I make mistakes by not responding sooner. Thank you for all of your love and thoughts and prayers.
Sending blessings your way!
Caroline
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