The one thing that I have especially learned over the years, is the power of friendship. Friends (and family can do this) can make you feel like you can take on the world. And with that same power, friends with just a few words or no words at all can cut you to the bone.
I have talked about the fact that for the last several years, I have not had a good few years, especially this year with health. Unfortunately, I have actually gone into a shell and did not reach out to anyone. Many different reasons, I didn't want to constantly talk about this and that surgery. And I slipped further and further away. Down to the point, where I was no longer speaking to anyone.
So, I was that friend where the other person didn't know if they did anything wrong and I would always cancel going anywhere. I realized that it does take 2 to be friends and I couldn't keep dumping all the bad stuff on them all the time.
Since my last stay at the hospital (October), I realized that I had to start living and living means to start opening up to old friends and new friends and just try. Because you never know how long you have in life. I had a family member tell me that all I think about was myself and am not aware of what anyone else is going through. It hurt me, but, she made me realize that she was right. I was so self-absorbed with my own issues.
So, that is exactly what I have been trying to do slowly but surely. I am so far behind with so many people. But, with the new invention of Facebook, it has been a blessing in connecting. Some of my old friends would never understand this...but, it has taken a long time to get the nerve up to reach out. I was always the one that was the outgoing one and never really had a problem making friends.
Now, if there is something going on the neighborhood (and assuming everyone is well), I try to get involved or at least write my neighbors, who are on face book.
Good friends will stick with you through the storm, you won't get a lecture while the storm is raging. So, I have to keep my eyes on that and remember that God is putting people in my path that should be there. I have prayed and prayed so much for Him to bring new and old friends in my life that would help lift me up, not bring me down.
So, thank you new and old friends for connecting back with me. You have helped me more than you can ever, ever know.