Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflections: Finding God in places where you didn't think He was....

I found Him in the transporter who took me to all of my procedures, tears were sliding down my eyes, and he touched my head and sang Amazing Grace to me.  When he came to my room and played the banjo and sang gospel.  To the many, many nurses who took care of me and made me laugh to help me forget my physical pain... He was there.  God was with my entire church and the hundreds of people who prayed for us, who brought food, who cleaned our home, who painted our house.    I found God in a neighborhood (Miramonte..i love and miss you all, I never got the chance to know you like I wanted to!) where they barely knew me, and person after person came to help in whatever way they could.  Painting our furniture so that when we moved, I could feel peace.  Or the sweetest people who helped me when I couldn't help myself to get ready to move.  They came running and helped. 

God was in the Questies and you know who you are!  You were there to move us.  You have been there all the time.  We were a family since '99 and the crew came to our aid without a blink of an eye.  God was in that room the other week when we had our reunion....each one of you helped us. The love was enormous and I was so honored to be in your presence.  The words I spoke to you all were nothing compared to what I felt in my heart.   I have never been so overcome with emotion for what you all did and are still doing. 

God was in Sophia, Maya and Nikolai's schools where they did things for us that were mind blowing.  I found God sitting at a lab getting ready to get more blood taken.  When the mother and daughter looked at me and put their hand on mine and told me it will be alright.  To hear that the daughter literally coded twice and she was so beautiful and happy and said how grateful she was to be alive.  I didn't fully grasp what she meant then, because I felt so sick.  Now, I do.   God was on the bus in Cleveland when we met a spunky, beautiful little lady (she could not have been 5 foot tall) who talked to us about how her husband died there at Cleveland Clinic and they brought him back to life.  He was in the hospital at that time, but, he was full of life.  She said after he died and was brought back...they sold everything and lived their dream.  She said "I am married to my best friend and we live on a boat in Alaska and we travel everywhere and jump from planes, and ski" and on and on she went.  I was in awe....

GOD was in Cleveland Clinic in every single corner.  From a sweet friend of Blake's taking us everywhere.  To a family who paid for me to get up Cleveland when they haven't even seen me for years.  That was God.   To so many of my old schoolmates who lived near the Clinic,  that said they would come to Cleveland to help.....God was there.  To Dr. Hatipoglu, for hugging me, for making me feel human...for going "outside of the box" and doing a trial on me.  For basically saving my life.  To so many of the other doctors there who helped  put me together again. Dr. Foster...there are not even remotely enough words for you.  You have been relentless in taking care of me.  You are my guardian angel.  Dr. are an amazing woman, who completely went out of your way time and time again.  Even when your expertise was not in what was happening to have ALWAYS been there for me, through all my babies and took us through one of the worst times of our lives when Maya was born.  You are an angel on earth.   Dr. P..... you are a great person, my body just couldn't handle the surgery.   Dr. Ender, you have been with me for years and God lives in you.  When you came to the hospital a few months back when I had sepsis.  You treated me with so much respect, and hugging me when I was so afraid.   For the amazing doctor that was on staff the week that he found sepsis in me.  You were among the elite that I listed above as a doctor at the hospitals down here where I live to go over and beyond.  You didn't look at my symptoms as black or white.  You looked at me as a whole person.   If something didn't work, you kept trying.  When you told me that I was going to ICU, you wanted to try something else first.  You kept me out of ICU.   You never gave up on me.  My sepsis is gone.  You will never be forgotten.

God was at the dentist, when they all hugged me to tell me I was going to make it.  When the pharmacists came out from behind the counter to hug me...God was there.  I was filled with love.  Especially with my favorite pharmacist Nancy who was battled cancer and she did!!  She prayed for me, I prayed for her.   I could write forever and forever to the health care people that I met that actually made a difference in my life.   Let me not forget the beautiful dog that came in my room at Duke for Pet Therapy.  You laid your head in my lap and I hugged you with all that fur and I felt God.

God was with the hundreds and hundreds of people who wrote me all over the world who I have become friends with through so many different avenues.  There are no accidents...we were all supposed to have collided in each others lives.    The amazing financial goodness that you all bestowed on us.  You helped us make it to where our babies never had to know what was going on.  God was there. 

And let me tell you this.... God was there with Blake and our children, my family both near and far, especially my parents, siblings, my in-laws, all of my cousins on my side and Blake's side...Aunts and Uncles...  my inducted families (those that I consider like families) All of my BFAM, and SFAM (Brothers and Sisters from another mother) All of my friends in the present and from my past.  I thought maybe you didn't care.  Boy, was I were all praying for me.  I apologize for not being the daughter, sister, in-law, friend you all needed.  God was there in each of you.  That is the beauty in what God has given me...insight.  I am going to be working hard to being that friend back and giving back to the world.

I will end here as far as writing on this post.  But, it doesn't literally end here.  There are SOOOOO many people and places that I went and chance encounters that I haven't any began to write about.  But, I will.   Especially about the Pink Diamond and The Zimbabwe Princess....

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