Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Coming out on the other side

If you have ever been through a Catastrophic 5 Hurricane and your house was demolished and possessions were everywhere.  If you came out alive, and your family..the other stuff is just that....stuff.    Gratitude (for most people I would think) is enormous.  However, I can only imagine the grief of the loss of possessions, and so much more. 

In metaphoric terms....that is what my family has just come through.  A catastrophic Level 5 Hurricane.  I feel  like our house (our lives, financial, relationships, children, everything) was turned upside down, ripped to shreds, pieces laying all over the place.  But, yet...for us, there have been an abundant amount of angels who have come out to help us piece back our lives.  

I have lost many friends through this.  Mainly because I have not been able to be a friend, a sister, a daughter, a good wife through this horrible time.   All I seemed to focus on was myself.   In losing people, I gained an amazing amount of angels from unexpected places.  People who don't even know me from all over the world have come to my aid.   I have made forever friends with these beautiful people and you know who you are.  Friends from the past who stepped up to be there as much as they could.   My husband and  children, oh about strength and resilience.  I owe everything to God first and then to my family and friends.   My parents, my sisters and brother, and my in-laws.  How did I get so blessed?

5 weeks ago today, I had Sepsis.  Which is an infection in my bloodstream.  I developed cellulitis in my arms that caused them to swell because of another bacterial infection.   I had some amazing encounters with nurses, and others who I believe were God sent.   One day, I will tell the stories of what happened, and how the next day....some of the major illness was gone.   Mind boggling!!  But, 5 weeks ago, I was minutes away from being in ICU and told as I was leaving the hospital to recover at home that I dodged a bullet.   That most people do not live through sepsis, and the kidney and colon problems that happened  during that time.   No one can believe what I am saying is true.  Like I am being over-dramatic.   This was real, and probably understated at how lucky I was.  

Today, as we enter into December....a miracle is occurring everyday.  I am stronger physically, I watch our children with such delight that it makes my heart burst.   My husband walks into the room and I cry.    They are tears of joy....we made it, we came out on the other side.   I  thank God first for the miracle He is doing in my life...then, it is my love, my husband.   For 2 years straight, he has been my nurse.  He has taken on more than anyone should ever have to bare.  No complaints, only love.   Our children have lifted my spirits every day.  

Now, I wake up and I smile and look up and tell God how grateful and blessed and lucky that I am.  The joy in my heart is something I have never really experienced before.   What I have learned about me, and acceptance and forgiveness is mind boggling.   I feel like I know what my calling is in life.  It is slowly being revealed to me.   God has blessed me, and He continues to do so.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring.  But, what is important is that today..right here, right now.....I am alive and I am coming back stronger than I have ever been.  Sure, it will be a long road.  But, that is alright by me.  

Brett Salisbury....thank you for sharing your book, your help, your encouragement with my nutrition and getting my blood pumping the way it should.   I will be your star pupil my friend.  I plan on shocking even you!!  God bless you!!!   Thank you to all the nurses, doctors, and "villages"for never giving up on me.   It does take a village to help a sick person come back to life.    How did I get so lucky???????

One last note....some people wonder how we could feel so lucky when we are drowning in debt from Medical, and the car problems, and the list goes on.   It would make most people give up.   The difference is for that I am ALIVE!!!!   And if God brought me through all of that......I have total faith that He is going to lead us to the road of financial and every other recovery.  

Please don't ever let the bad times take you down and keep you there.  When you get kicked down, get up.  Sometimes, as in my will have to crawl with your face firmly planted in the dirt.  Just keep digging your nails into the ground.  Eventually, you will be able to get on your knees, and then you will be able to stand.   And if you get knocked down again...repeat the process and get back up again, no matter how long it takes.   Show gratitude, sit in the sun, smile at your neighbors, dance like you have never danced before, and above all....laugh!!!  Crying is healing, then laugh, cry, laugh.....and eventually the tears will have cleansed your soul and you will find that your days consist of laughter.  Forgive....especially yourself.   

I am starting to see a glimpse of what God has in store for me.  Pray for me if you will.   I am wide open to His Will.   I just need to keep the encouragement, and belief in myself that I can do it. 

I love you all so much, and am so grateful to so many people.  I hope that I can touch your life as you have touched mine.  

Just imagine what can be done in this world if we all come together.....

Love and many, many blessings to you!


1 comment:

Ronda said...

I am a bit late to this post but I am so thrilled to hear you are feeling better. It is inspirational to hear how you're embracing your family and life after such trauma.

Keep up the healing. Keep smiling and I will look forward to the day that you write that you are well.

Happy holidays. May they bring you love, laughter and peace of spirit.