Friday, May 15, 2009

A Funny Moment in my Medical Journey

On one of my many hospital stays...I had come in by ambulance and they immediately put me in a room. I was dying from pain. I thought that my insides would explode. I had a migraine, and I wanted to throw up from it all. So, the nurses told the EMT's what room to put me in. I begged and pleaded as much as I could for them not to put me in with a roommate. They said that was all they had. I was in too much pain to care.

I am in a fetal position, by myself...because Blake had to be home with the kids. I needed him to be there for them. I had a pillow over my head to cover my eyes from the light. The next thing you know...a lot of commotion was happening in my room. My brain was screaming..."FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY..SHUT UP!!" But, I didn't let that come out of my mouth. I turned over from the wall to face my new roomie. And here is what happened next...

JOHNNY (a big guy next to a little old lady and there was another big guy too), The little old lady started yelling "look a yonder...if my eyes do not deceive me..there she is" These three people are looking at me. I am irritable, sick, excruciating pain and my window of niceness is closing in quickly. And the octave got louder in the room

"Hey...Hey....HEY YOU!! (little ole lady) Honey, I have missed you sugah.....don't you remember us working in the factory together?" The two big men next to her were her sons as I was later to find out. Johnny (big son) says "Mama,she did not work at the factory with you, you do not know her" She had these little frail arms and yanked back the curtain between the two of us and hit her son in the stomach. " Don't you tell me boy that I am wrong. I know her..she WORKED AT THE FACTORY with me!!!" I just smiled. inside voice was saying in my head "WHERE ARE MY SHOES?...where is anything to stop the noise. Because if she doesn't stop screaming at the top of her lungs how she knows me, i will start throwing my shoes, foaming at the mouth...whatever I have to do to scare everyone away and leave me in peace.

Instead, I politely said " No ma'am....I did not have the honor of working with you". Then, she said "well, you sure as hell look and act like her" And her big sons were standing beside her bed where she couldn't see them, but, I could. They were motioning all over the place to stop talking, in some kind of sign language telling me she was a little senile. Really? I hadn't noticed. And they wanted me to play along. HELLOOOO? The hospital is not a fun place. Ok? But, they both looked like Johnny the Green Giant. So, I kept my mouth shut and smiled (and boy was it killing me to smile)

She pops the other son in the stomach with her frail arm and says " Get over there and get a picture of you two together". Then he wanted to take picture of me to send to my husband. And finally after me jamming the nurses button a hundred times, they took me to get some CT scan done. And by the time I got back she was asleep. THANK GOODNESS. For the rest of her stay there, I acted like I was sleeping. Because if I moved my leg the slightest...that gave her an invitation to talk. "Sugah honey...are you awake? Do you hurt?" She asked one of the nurses.. 'Please check on her, she hasn't talked in days or moved. Is she alive?"

Oh, I was alive alright dealing with pancreatitis and if anyone has ever had that you will know what I mean by this. It feels as if the nail gun that you use to build your house is being shot through your chest out your back at a rapid speed. There are not enough drugs in the world to make that better. It has to go away on its on. And it may seem like I was rude. But, if she said another word to me...I would have been that girl in that movie that turned her head all the way out with vomit spewing . It was best for everyone that I pretended to sleep.

Soon, she left waving bye to me the whole time telling me she loves me and can't wait to see me at the factory. I smiled and waved and hastingly turned myself back over. And not even 15 minutes later, I had a new roomate. Her name was Mabel. I said hi....and I pretended to sleep for the rest of the duration of my hospital stay :)

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