Saturday, June 6, 2009

Letting go..

B.C. (Before Children), I wanted to jump out of airplanes and sky dive, and after that go bungee jumping. I remember someone telling me that they were afraid to jump. I asked "How did you get through it?" They told me " I just had to let go"

Those few words sum up so much in life. "Just let go".

I know for me in this whole process and journey through illness, financial and personal struggles, I have been told to just "let go". At first, I want to scream at the person who said such a cliche! arggggg......

But, lately...I am understanding what that really means to "let go". See, I have always been a Type A, control freak. I need a plan, I need to know what is going to happen next. I need to hold on. You know what? It is maddening! I hate it and I pray everyday to lose that trait about myself.

Lately, I have grown extremely tired of holding on. I am learning piece by piece to let go. The biggest thing has been about moving. I completely believe that all the clutter and chaos in our home has caused much strife and frankly has made us all sick.

With every move..there has always been stress around it. We just throw all of our stuff in a box, there is never any time to go through the "stuff"...we just sweep it into a box and take it from place to place. Stuff that we even brought into the marriage...boxes that we carried around with us after we graduated from school and our parents told us it was time to get all of our old stuff out of their house.

We are having to move as our landlords are getting this house foreclosed on...thus, we...the renters are needing to go. But, we were blessed in finding a beautiful house that is half the size of this and I am THRILLED about it. That means so much has to go out of this house. This time, something is different....We are all letting go. I am amazed at our children willingly letting go of their favorite animals or toys, my husband letting go of our 60 inch screen TV. If you only knew how much he LOVES that thing. And for me....I am like....You want it....take it! We are selling a lot to pay for moving. But, it is more than that. It is about letting go.

Something switched in my head and heart. Since giving my life back to God again...I just laid so much at His feet. I gave up the house, our finances, the utter chaos that is happening, and my health and the rest of our families health....I have let go and letting God. We have given so much away and let so much go that I feel embarrassed that we had sooo much to begin with. It was things we have not seen in years, but, felt we had to hold on to it.

Not anymore, as a family....we are sick of being sick and tired of our stuff holding us hostage. We have so much more to let go in the next few weeks. I am so ready to let go and let others love what we have.

I have so much more to say on Letting Go....but, this is the beginning. You have to start somewhere.......

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