Thursday, November 13, 2008

When the waves from the Storm hit you over and over again...

I shared my story about our daughter Maya when she was born and all that happened. One would think that was enough of a storm to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning.

I returned to my job about 12 weeks after giving birth to Maya. However, before going back to work...Maya landed in UNC Pediatric Unit for C-Diff. She had to have so many IV's that they ran out of places because she was so dehydrated...they had to put one in her head. Day after day, I sat next to her...never wanting to move. The thought of going back to work had changed all meaning then.

It was a job that I loved and hated at the same time. I loved it so much because we were like family (yes, I drank from the juice of this company). I loved every aspect of my job. I loved the people...almost everyone was at my wedding. I had a hard time with number crunching....that was not my forte. See, I am the creative mind, but, analyzing numbers was like me speaking Chinese. It just wasn't working. I was the manager of a team and one afternoon, I got the call to my bosses office and there was my friend the HR Director looking upset. I knew then what was happening. They dissolved our entire division. I left with a few boxes and stunned that I was walking out of the door with everyone that I thought was family still inside. There was no chance to say goodbye.

I was given an amazing package for which I was grateful. But, they say that men take it so hard when they lose their jobs. Well, some of us women do too. I will write on it later, but, it has taken years to get over.

Only weeks after losing my job, my father in law lost his battle with cancer.

Sometimes, the storms can keep coming. But, eventually...the rain stops for a bit. Where is the laughter and positivity in all of this? I told you earlier about Maya...she is now a comedian and a spitfire, and she is full of love. The job? Trust me when I say, it has taken a LONG time to find anything funny or positive about it. But, now, when I see an advertisement, or newspaper article, or anything from this company....I must make this funny face. My husband ALWAYS knows when that company is on my mind. He will laugh and say "Bitter Betty". Then, I pout like a 2 year old and say "am not!" and for whatever reason....we just laugh..

What about my Father in laws death? Where was the laughter? That again, has taken a long time to find laughter. We tell each other stories that Blake's dad would do to us. He was such a prankster. He would call every Saturday morning and a sound of a trumpet wake up call would come through the phone. Now, we laugh and talk about all of the other pranks he made. We talk about all that he did with his life and what a difference he made on this world.

That my friends is called making over to the other side of grief. You know you are there when you can find laughter after tragic situations.

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